Romanticizing the Real: How She’s Learning to Slow Down in the Chaos
How I Stopped Rushing Through Motherhood and Started Feeling Like Myself Again
There’s this moment right after the baby latches: when everything goes quiet except the hum of her thoughts.
And that’s usually when the swirl begins.
Did she switch the laundry?
What’s for dinner?
Why does her partner get to finish a whole cup of coffee without being touched?
Her brain starts sprinting while her body’s forced to stay still, tethered to the rhythm of feeding.
She used to fill that silence with irritation, like she was wasting time.
But lately, she’s been trying to romanticize it.
Not in the “make it pretty for Instagram” way.
In the “this is my real life, and I actually want to live it” way.
Because maybe the point isn’t to escape the monotony, but to find meaning inside it; to slow her thoughts before they run off with her peace.
(This is exactly what inspired my Romanticize & Regulate Guide, a framework for moms who want to feel grounded again without waiting for life to calm down first.)
When She Realized Her Mind Was Living 10 Minutes Ahead of Her Body
She didn’t notice how bad it had gotten until her daughter started mimicking her.
Not her words, her energy.
Every time she’d rush her, her daughter would rush her play. Every time she’d sigh while bouncing the baby, her daughter would sigh too, exaggerated and dramatic, as if mirroring her overwhelm was her new form of connection.
And that’s when it hit her: she wasn’t present in her own life.
She was narrating it in her head while anxiously managing it in real time.
The days felt like one long checklist: nurse, change, play, clean, repeat.
And yet, even when everything was “done,” the tension never left her chest. Because the to-do list wasn’t just on paper, it had moved into her body.
That was her wake-up.
Not a meltdown. Not a huge realization. Just a quiet knowing: this pace is costing me presence.
Something Has to Shift Before She Burns Out (Again)
She used to think slowing down was a luxury. Something she could earn once the kids were older or life felt easier. But lately, she’s realized it’s a necessity.
The irritability, the irrational thoughts, the exhaustion that feels deeper than sleep can fix, it’s all a signal.
She can’t keep trying to be the calm center of the family if she’s constantly ignoring what her own nervous system needs.
And honestly, sometimes what it needs isn’t complicated.
It’s a 10-minute walk after the first morning feed, even if her toddler’s whining about snacks the entire time.
It’s letting the dishes sit in the sink while she breathes next to the baby instead of scrolling.
It’s saying to her partner, “I need five minutes where no one talks to me,” and meaning it without apologizing for it.
Because calm isn’t something she stumbles into anymore. It’s something she builds: moment by moment, boundary by boundary.
Learning to Romanticize the Real Stuff
Romanticizing motherhood used to sound like a Pinterest board, but she’s learned it’s really a nervous system practice.
It’s not about candles or morning sunlight or journaling by a window (though sure, that’s lovely if it happens).
It’s about being with your actual life.
It’s when she makes her daughter’s oatmeal and decides to slow down while stirring, instead of rushing through it.
It’s when she breastfeeds and uses those 15 minutes to breathe deeply, unclench her jaw, and notice how her body’s still doing something miraculous even when she’s tired.
It’s when she chooses not to fill every silent second with a podcast or a task, and just… exist.
That’s the kind of romanticizing she’s after. The kind that regulates her body more than it impresses anyone else.
And slowly (really slowly) she’s starting to feel the shift.
The irritation still comes, especially during the 5 p.m. chaos hour when everyone’s melting down and she hasn’t thought about dinner. The irrational thoughts still sneak in (“everyone else is handling this better than me”).
But she’s learning to notice them instead of living from them.
And that noticing? That’s where peace begins to grow.
(If that idea of “romanticize and regulate” speaks to you , that’s exactly what my Romanticize & Regulate Guide helps you do. It’s how I built rhythm and rest inside the actual chaos, not outside of it. Peek inside here →)
The Little Things That Help Her Practice It
She’s started creating “anchors” throughout the day, little rituals that help her come back to herself:
- A slow morning rhythm. No rushing to check her phone. Just nursing, hydrating, and stretching her shoulders before anyone else wakes up.
- Getting outside. Even if it’s just the front porch. Fresh air resets the chaos faster than any affirmation ever could.
- Naming her thoughts out loud. Saying, “I feel touched out right now,” instead of pretending she’s fine helps her partner actually see her instead of guessing.
- Letting her daughter help — even when it slows her down. Because she’s learning connection, not efficiency.
- One intentional moment of beauty per day. Putting on a cozy playlist or using the “nice” blanket just because.
It’s less about “aesthetic” and more about “awareness.”
Romanticizing the Version of Her That’s Already Here
Here’s what she keeps reminding herself: she doesn’t have to earn slowness.
She doesn’t have to fix everything before she deserves to feel calm.
The point of romanticizing motherhood isn’t to make it look effortless, it’s to make it feel meaningful again.
And maybe that starts by softening the expectations she has of herself.
Because the truth is:
Her house won’t stay clean.
Her toddler will always interrupt her thoughts.
Her partner and she will keep learning how to communicate through exhaustion.
And that’s okay.
Slow living doesn’t erase the mess, it just reminds her to see the beauty underneath it.
So today, she’s choosing to romanticize the real.
The overstimulated, sleep-deprived, slightly hormonal version of herself who’s still showing up, still choosing softness, one imperfect morning at a time.
✨ If this kind of grounded calm is what you’re craving too, explore my Romanticize & Regulate Guide: a self-paced way to reconnect with your body, your rhythm, and your peace again
